A Reason to Go On
by blue c 84
Summary: Clean up in Tesca should have been easy. But when a trooper gets injured, one question materializes: What's wrong with Gossard? Complete.
1. Chapter 1

RSTC: A Reason to Go On

(Note: set after the bug war continued )

_As soldiers in war, we have spent thousands of hours facing the enemy out in the field whether we are up to it or not. It wasn't just part of the job description. It **is** the job description. If there was a bug problem, there were troopers there to exterminate them and hopefully, live long enough to tell the tale. _

_But sometimes, the problem isn't the bugs. Sometimes, it wasn't the bugs at all._

_--Robert Higgins:: __The Roughnecks _

Max Brutto fired shot after shot of plasma fire to the spiders threatening to drop from above him. Whoever said clean up duty after the war was a piece of cake was wrong. In fact, it felt exactly like the war hasn't ended. They were still fighting bugs which aren't giving up without a fight even if their Queen is dead. Sure the brains in colonies like Hydora and Tesca Nemorosa weren't able to organize anymore but it didn't mean that they would just let themselves be exterminated. The troopers are still finding themselves fighting for their lives as they secured sector after sector of each colony. SICON wanted everything cleaned. The only thing Max Brutto was thankful for was the fact that Intel was more accurate now. That was to be expected. Miriam Redwing was now Sky Marshal.

He took a quick look around him and for the nth time in three months, it hit him how the Roughnecks were suddenly two men short. When they returned back to the military after a month long leave, T'Phai and Zim gave them their respective news. The colonel returned to Tophet to help SICON create a human- Tophetti alliance. Sgt. Zim returned to boot camp where, in Brutto's opinion, he could put the fear of Zim into new troopers. After all, Zim was scarier than the bugs. They sent messages often updating them with their own lives. Brutto would never admit it out loud but there were times he wished they were still around.

Today was one of those days. The last sector they were assigned in the Tesca moon that day wasn't crawling when they got there. Rico decided to make the troopers vote if they should play divide and conquer-- one team cleans up the underground water and tunnels, one team cleans up above. The vote was unanimous. Two groups would sanitize the place faster which meant they would theoretically have more rest when they returned to Zegema Beach. And then it happened.

After a few hours of bugless jungle trekking with Rico, Gossard and Anderson, the spiders suddenly came out from nowhere. Nothing the four of them couldn't handle if they were 100. But from the start of the battle, it was obvious they weren't in their top game. He watched as a small spider jumped off a tree branch for the marauder just to be shot away by Rico who had to move a few steps forward from where he was just to take the shot. Rico knocked on one of the marauder's metal panels. "Hello, anybody in there?" He teased before shooting the on coming wave.

"Right. Sorry." Gossard answered. The marauder swatted a bug away as it jumped for Rico.

Brutto caught Andy's confused gaze when he glanced back. "No comeback? That's not normal." He heard her say to no one in particular a few feet behind him.

He gave the girl a smirk. "Gossard's capable of being normal?"

He heard her chuckle. "Are we?" She answered. He gave his concentration back to the bugs. He grimaced at the thought that she was right. Actually, it's been bothering him. For the past three weeks, Gossard's been,at the very least, distracted. Nobody knew why. Gossard himself had said nothing. They've asked Carl just in case he picked anything up "accidentally" but Jenkins just shook his head with the absolute guilt trip answer-- "How would you like it if I went through your heads?"

Dizzy Flores had given an interesting reply. "Johnny wouldn't mind. There's nothing in his."

Brutto shot down another spider going at the marauder. "Hey tech! Get with the program." He yelled. There was no reply which bothered him even more. It was frustrating. Normally, something witty was automatically shot back at him. If there was nothing else, there was always sarcasm and wit spewing out of that Roughneck. These days there was nothing from the corporal on or off the field. He shook his head. Frustrating might be the wrong word. It was downright annoying.

"Gossard, there's a rock behind you." He heard Rico warned a few meters beside him.

Brutto glanced back to the marauder just in time to see it trip backwards. Suddenly, he saw a trooper run past him and Rico. "Anderson, what the hell are you doing?" He yelled out. The marauder just stayed still on the ground.

"Two up top! No angle. Cage front." She answered incoherently as she scampered to climb on top of the marauder's cage exterior. Two giant spiders were at mid- air simultaneously going for the marauder as she angled her shot. His eyes widened realizing what she just said. The spiders could easily stab Gossard if they landed on top of him. The grills were wide enough for their legs to go through.

"Brutto! Cover!" Rico ordered as they both raised their moritas and lowered their visors to the dropping spiders.

Brutto felt like he was watching everything in slow motion. Anderson was able to shoot one away safely. The force of a plasma shot at close range made sure that the spider fell somewhere else. The smart sensors on his visor haven't centered on the second spider yet when he saw the girl fire another plasma. The shot was good. Unfortunately the spider was too near when the shot was fired. He saw the girl blown back by the backfire rolling as her body landed on the ground. The second spider laid dead a few inches away from the first. He saw Rico moving forward past the fallen girl to shoot at the retreating spiders while he followed right behind shooting as he went along.

He lowered his visor one more time to look around. "We're clear." He said told the lieutenant flipping the visor up.

"Remind me to stop blowing myself up." The girl groaned behind them.

He saw Rico sigh in relief as Anderson slowly raised herself to a sitting position immediately wincing and holding her left arm. "Brutto..." Rico cocked his head to her direction.

"I'm on it." Brutto answered with a sigh of relief of his own before Rico could finish his sentence. Anything to get away from the marauder beside him. Anything to get away from the specialist still motionless inside it. "Does little Andy have a boo boo?" He exclaimed putting on a patronizing grin just to tease the trooper.

Andy gave him a smug grin of her own. "Great. Baby talk from a Brutto." She said wryly. "Spiders! Get me now." She looked around while Brutto just stared at her with disbelief. The girl sighed and shrugged. "Where are those bugs when you need them?"

--

The door to Zegema Beach Medical bay slid open. The troopers weren't too happy to see Doc frowning which was fine with Doc. He was far from amused. They had secured the sector but there was also a trooper heading to tank. The bug had drawn a deep gash on Andy's left arm and her landing landed her a dislocated shoulder. By the time they reached the base, the bandages he had placed were soaked. Dr. Sharaabi refused to take any chances of any infection setting in or the laceration healing wrongly and ordered the trooper to swim in green liquid.

"And?" Higgins asked when Doc came out. He was as usual filming the whole thing.

Doc crossed his arms. "Tank for two days and off duty for at least a few days after that." The troopers groaned in reply. That would mean that the Roughnecks were reduced to 7 troopers for the next few duties.

"When will she be clear?" Rico inquired. He ran a hand through his hair worriedly. Andy had been injured on his watch. He felt a little responsible for what happened. He wasn't liking the odds of just seven troopers against whatever SICON might throw at them. Hopefully, they would just be ordered perimeter duty until Andy got back. But knowing the higher ups in charge of Tesca Nemerosa, they would order the veteran squad out to the field.

Doc shrugged. "Earliest guess is next week. She didn't just hit her shoulder, Rico. She landed on it like a fumbled football." He replied meeting the young lieutenant's gaze.

"So. What happened out there?" Dizzy Flores faced Lt. Johnny Rico who sighed in response trying to think of how to best explain a situation he didn't fully understand himself. The only thing he did know was that there was something wrong with the older trooper who was saved by the girl in the tank.

Much to everyone's surprise, Brutto answered before Rico could say a word. "Oh I don't know." He said dryly. "Why don't we ask, Gossard?" He eyed the older trooper sitting down on the bench with his head bowed against one hand. The other four troopers looked at Gossard obviously confused.

"Gossard?" Carl Jenkins raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you the one usually causing trouble?" He motioned at Brutto. The troopers smiled at what could've been the start of another interesting verbal spar.

But Brutto wouldn't have any of it. He didn't have the patience to play Jenkins' game nor did could he stand the technician's silence. "Well, Goss. Care to enlighten us anytime today? Or does anybody else need to be tanked." He sneered.

"It's an off day and I'm sorry." Gossard looked up meeting the young trooper's steely gaze.

Brutto's jaw dropped. "Off day? Try off week." He pointed out leaning in towards the mechanic in a threatening fashion. "You've been like Paperboy the whole week." The boy commented. "No. Worse than Higgins even. Because at least the greenie hasn't dropped his morita at all this week." He corrected his assessment. "But you! More times than I can count. And if you could have just gotten your head straight today, then Anderson won't be in that tank." He continued ranting. "This coming from me and I don't even like Anderson." Brutto finished with his brow furrowed and jaw clenched in anger. To everyone's surprise, the other didn't say a word back.

Doc eyed the two troopers warily. This wasn't their typical argument about nothing in particular. This sounded like it was more than assigning blame for the predicament they were in. For the first time since Brutto's first day as a Roughneck, the private actually meant what he was saying. The boy looked like he was sincerely angry at Gossard.

"Brutto!" Dizzy Flores exclaimed shocked at the boy's rude conduct. "What in the world is wrong with you?" She demanded before trying to smoothen things between the two. More dysfunction was exactly what their smaller squad didn't need especially when Zim and T'Phai were not with them. She knew Rico was not the type to order them to apologize and make up. "Don't listen to him, Goss. He's a Brutto. Sensitivity isn't in gene code." She shot back at the second generation of Brutto crossing her arms against her chest.

Brutto just raised both hands. "Whatever." He rolled his eyes heading towards the door. "You guys can baby him all you want. Just be ready to get greased." The door slid open allowing him to storm out of the room.

Higgins lowered his camera. "Whoah. What just happened here?" He asked nervously.

Rico shook his head looking at the door to Gossard and back to the door again. "I have no idea." He admitted looking just as confused as the rest of them mentally noting not to put Gossard and Brutto in the same team on their next run.

--

Note: a little bit of angst doesn't hurt right? on the side: i've been trying to figure out how to 'justify' text in I'm starting to think it's impossible.


	2. Chapter 2

RSTC: A Reason to Go On

Breathe in. Aim. Squeeze. Breath out. Relax. Move. It's just another camera that shoots bullets instead of pictures. Higgins' mind chanted when he was forced to put his camera down to take up the morita. It wasn't the spiders this time that had them going. It was the warrior bugs. Given their squads situation, SICON had given them the "easy" job of securing the new tunnels that had turned up in the aerial scans. He had just been retrieved from a tunnels and started filming the Roughnecks on a five minute break when warriors came rushing towards them from their right side. He frowned thinking how his attempts for a more human FedNet piece keep getting foiled by bug encounters like this. He might as well take his frustration out on the bugs themselves.

He could hear the thumping of the two marauders flanking him at either side. That day, Higgins had a lot to be thankful for. He thanked the heavens that at least he would be relatively safer in between the two veteran troopers than the four that were a few meters ahead of them. He was thankful that on one by one the warriors fell as the Roughnecks carefully advanced gaining ground in their normally noisy and jesting fashion. The reporter admitted that he very rarely joined in the conversation, enjoying instead the witty banter that goes on within the group. If there was nothing else the Roughnecks had in the world, the paperboy knew they would always have a good comeback.

It almost like they took turns. Someone would start it all. Today it was Dizzy Flores with the following cheer. "Oh yeah! Who's afraid of the big bad bugs?" She taunted the attacking arachnids like they could understand her before shooting the ones in her vicinity down.

At the sight of the massive hits the girl was inflicting on the enemy, Carl Jenkins replied owning his turn. "I think the question is--Who's afraid of the big bad Dizzy?" Carl remarked without moving his attention away from the charging.

"When she's like that--I know I am." Rico admitted grinning. "Can't you be at bit more.. normal?" He asked remembering that the last time they had this conversation, she had answered something about shining like gold.

"What are you talking about?" The girl scoffed rolling her eyes. She took a few mores steps forward ahead of everyone else. "All I'm saying is that we'll scrub this place so clean that Tesca would look like a star." She smiled smugly.

Max Brutto smirked. "That will fall from the weight of your head." He teased shooting a few more growling warriors down.

"Do we get to make a wish?" Doc added to the conversation before launching a salvo of grenades.

And it continued on. Higgins would love to record some of this and show it to the world. The banter was something people watching on screen could relate to. It would make a great report on how troopers weren't just all brawn no brain. The quick returns, whether the others knew it or not, was a sign of intelligence. A different kind of intelligence than say the learned and practiced kind of the medic and mechanic beside him.

The reporter frowned remembering the unusually quiet mechanic inside the marauder. There hasn't been an input from him yet which was odd. Gossard wouldn't usually give up a chance to challenge Brutto. But then again, there has been bad blood between the two since Andy's accident two days ago. Higgins was convinced that the girl new something about what's happening. In fact, when Brutto went with him to visit her in the tank just the day before, she specifically told the boy to lay off the mechanic. A verbal spar went on then and there and a medic had to make the healthy Roughnecks leave.

"Goss! Doc! Light those trees with plasma on three!" Rico broke into the FedNet correspondent's musings. Higgins could see what the lieutenant had planned. There weren't a lot of bugs left on the horizon. If they could make the trees fall on them, their numbers would be severely cut to the point that the battle would be over in short minutes if the bugs could survive the blue flames. "One" Rico started counting over the links while the front line was making their way back to them.

"Two!" Rico yelled. Suddenly, Higgins heard the familiar fire of plasma shells from the marauder to his right. He stood frozen in shock knowing it was Gossard who deployed the salvo far too early. Rico, Dizzy and Brutto were still running from the line of fire.

"Goss!" The reporter gasped loudly in shock.

"Gossard!" Doc scolded the mechanic.

Trees fell and blue fire erupted. There were bugs screaming from being burned but Paperboy didn't care. He couldn't see where the other three had gone. He quickly turned to the only one from that group to reach their side. "Carl..." He wasn't able to finish his question when Jenkins pointed at the three figures slowly making their way back to them leaving the aurora like plasma field.

Doc jumped off his marauder hurrying to the three to assess if they were hurt wordlessly. But Higgins saw the glare that the doc had shot at Gossard's direction. He also saw Carl Jenkins punch the metal panes of the mechanic's marauder in anger. "What's wrong with you? You could've killed them!" He exclaimed before moving towards his best friends.

"I told you he'll get us all fried!" Max Brutto fell to the ground trying to catch his breath.

"Extra crispy." Doc smirked in relief seeing the three relatively unharmed beyond minor burns. He placed small burn patches on the collapsed Dizzy first.

But Rico wasn't sharing Doc's humour. He was now in league with the younger Brutto. He was sitting beside the boy and Flores while Carl helped him with his burns. But the scathing look on he was giving Gossard couldn't be more clear. "You're off duty until I say so." He snapped. "You're benched, Gossard."

And there it was-- the last thing Higgins was thankful for. He was thankful that they were all still alive.

--

Click.

Ashley Anderson was bored. The medics released her right after the Roughnecks were deployed to map the tunnels in the Tesca moon. It has been hours since then. She sighed eying her bandaged left arm in a sling with dismay. She was just happy they didn't decide to put her arm in a cast but she couldn't believe that she was actually excited to have some time off to finish everything that she's been meaning to do on her laptop since the week started. For hours she had sat on her bunk finishing 'work' and reading while listening to music over her headphones. She must have been more concentrated than she thought she was because now, she was done with it all. And now she was bored.

She sighed again waiting for the last interesting thing she found to load on the window-- the floor plan to the base. When the picture came up, she scrolled through it slowly trying to find something-- anything interesting in this base. She was already saddened by the fact that there was a beach with relatively good waves but she can neither swim in it due to her shoulder nor does the base have any equipment to do anything else. It wasn't a vacation location after all. It was a military infrastructure.

Her jaw dropped. A few more clicks and she had brought up the room's inventory. A smile started to form in her face as she minimized the picture to see how to get to that particular room. Click. Click. Click.

Boom!

Andy slammed her laptop shut in panic and shoved it under her blanket covers. She turned to location of the sound that had even filtered through her already blaring headphones. And there they were-- a bunch of upset troopers filing in the room. She slowly took her headphones off shutting down her music player. The boom had come from one Lt. Johnny Rico hitting the wall with his bare fists in frustration before regretting the act waving his hand in pain.

"Whoah." Andy eyed the troopers in concern. "Let me guess. You met alien naked mole rats in those tunnels." She smiled at the tired reporter who waved hello before scampering up the bunk above hers.

She heard Higgins chuckle from above. "I wish." He replied but there was nothing afterwards.

Doc headed towards her sternly. "Let me check that shoulder." He smiled grimly adding to her confusion as he pulled her collar back to take a peek. He frowned when he saw the extent of red bloating and the bruise that had formed on her back. " That's nasty." He commented sighing. The girl might be out of commission for more than a week at this rate.

"You should see how you all look right now." She said facing the medic worriedly. The troopers were unusually quiet collapsing into their bunks like they haven't seen it in ages. "You were mapping tunnels in a relatively secured area. It's routine. And even if there were bugs, it really couldn't have been that bad. But you all look like you got caught between feuding tankers and plasma bugs." She finished suddenly thinking of making a simulation of the imaginary feud for fun.

She heard Max Brutto snort while sitting on his bunk. "Yeah, if the plasma bug was Gossard. Nearly fried me with plasma."

"He'd be doing the world a favor then." She replied wryly bu the trooper waved it away.

"Not in the mood, Anderson." Brutto sighed finally lying down on his bed effectively ending the conversation. Andy just stared at him for a moment and then gave Doc and expectant look demanding an explanation.

The medic finally relented. "There were warriors. He fired the plasma's too early and Brutto, Rico, and Diz were still within firing range. He said his hand slipped." He recounted shaking his head.

"Like that's possible." Higgins scoffed above them."And you've talked to him right?" She asked the good doctor. "I mean, you guys are like best friends or something." She pointed out knowing that the two has had probably a friendship that could rival the Buenos Aeries Trio of Jenkins , Flores and Rico. In fact, they were Roughnecks before any of them were Roughnecks.

"He wanted to be left alone. He didn't want to talk to me. He didn't want to talk to anybody-- like anybody would be talking to him after today." Doc grumbled frustrated at the whole Gossard situation. He felt a pat on his shoulder. "Where are you going?" The medic asked when the girl sighed suddenly standing up and heading for the door. "Don't go there, Andy." He warned the younger trooper when he saw the small grin on her face.

"What's he going to do? Blow me up? I can do that myself, thank you very much." Andy ran her fingers through her long hair and tried sweeping her bangs to one side. "There was this legendary band called The Rolling Stones formed circa 1962." She answered grinning slyly at the confused medic. "One of the best songs was aptly titled 'You can't always get what you want.'" She pointed at the music player that she had discarded on her bed when the confused expression didn't fade. "Track 17. You should give a listen. It's mind blowing." She winked before disappearing behind the sliding door.

--


	3. Chapter 3

RSTC: A Reason to Go On

_Hey Vicky. Greetings from the armpit of the galaxy Klendathu. Listen, things are a little intense here bug wise so I just wanted to tell you how much... I miss you. I joined to prove something. To myself I guess-- prove I was brave. But I'm not the brave one in the family, little sister. You are. You're my inspiration. As long as you keep fighting, I will too. Take care, sport. _

_ I love you._

_ -- Corporal Jeffrey Gossard. FedNet Video Archive. Project Roughnecks Klendathu Campaign_

Gossard watched the sand slip through his fingers back to the beach. Sunset was over. Dusk was setting upon Tesca Nemorosa. He smiled sadly. The alien moon was so similar to Earth that there were times he would forget that he was here hunting over sized alien insects. There were moments he thought he could simply fly home. The smile on his face faded at the thought of a picturesque white painted house with blue roof tiles on a cliff overlooking the sea. He shook his head trying to rid himself of the memory as the sound of the stadium like lights that surrounded the base turned on. 

There was a plop beside him accentuated some grains of sand that were sent flying in the air. He turned slightly just to see who had come to join him and frowned at the sight of his younger squad mate with a sling on her left arm. He suddenly felt guilty. He knew the injury was largely his fault although she never said anything about it. Worse was that he hasn't visited her at all even when he could've gone with the others. But what absolutely made him feel like scum was the fact that this was the person he had been asking for help or bouncing ideas off to when Doc was preoccupied because he didn't need to put things in lay man's terms for her to understand what he was talking about.

And he hasn't even apologized about the arm. "Andy, about that..." He started pointing at the arm.

"You're hand slipped on the controls?" She suggested wryly with a small smile. The mechanic groaned. That little comment meant she had bumped into the other troopers. "So." He watched her look out to the Nemorosan Sea while absently drawing stars on the sand with a finger. "I think you have to tell them about your girl troubles." She stated with a small decisive nod.

Gossard was taken aback in surprise. "Girl trouble?" He asked her confused. "Andy, I'm over Dizzy. She's with Rico and I'm happy for them." He pointed out to the trooper.

There was a smirk in her face. "Yes, because blasting them is the only way to celebrate. Nothing says I'm happy for you like a good round of plasma." She replied alluding again to the the happenings earlier that day making the mechanic chuckle slightly. There was a pause between the two just looking at the water. "I'm not talking about Dizzy though. I'm talking about Victoria." Andy revealed slowly turning to face the now shocked mechanic.

Shock quickly turned into suspicion. "How did you-"

"The force told me." Andy automatically answered even before the question was asked.

"The force." Gossard repeated unimpressed with her answer.

"Yeah." She nodded decisively. "The force is strong with this one." She continued pointing to herself innocently.

The mechanic rolled his eyes at the girl with disbelief. "You know what? You keep your past life in relative secret from the rest of us. But do you see me hacking away and prying into personal-"

"I read all of the Earth sector news cover to cover when I have the time. Obituaries included. I back track months if I have to. It's another odd ...habit." She cut the man off feeling his anger grow. "You were the one who went for the mail last. I'm guessing that's when you got the official SICON. Gossard isn't a common last name and you were already acting weird. Figured it was related. And I haven't told anyone because I've been waiting for you to tell them. Although, if Rico would just do his paperwork...which is really not the point. The point is, you actually almost blew up half the squad today 'playing' trooper." She played with the sand avoiding meeting Gossard's gaze.

"I said I was sorry." He frowned lying back on the sand so that he was looking up on the sky.

"And I'm sorry for your loss." She sincerely gave her condolences. Silence ensued for a few minutes giving the man hope that the subject has been dropped. "So. She's my age." She sighed uncomfortably breaking the quiet that has grown between them. "She was your... wife? Which by the way would be morally deficient seeing as you and Dizzy used to be together." There was no answer. "A close relative? Cousin? Niece? Sister?" She started guessing until she heard an outraged mechanic gasp telling her which one was correct. "Sister it is." She surmised. "Paper said she was sick. What did she have?" She continued her inquiry much to Gossard's dismay.

"Lou Gehrig's." He answered quickly before falling back to silence. He saw the girl turn her attention to the sand nodding. He hoped that she would stop. He didn't need this right now. He didn't need to be reminded that his little sister had just passed away and he was probably the last to know. Here he was fighting bugs in space when where he should really have been was back home beside his dying sister.

Andy resumed drawing stars on the sand idly. "Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Neurodegenerative disease that causes the loss of motor functions because of nerve death. It's annoying and slow and the sporadic kind is fatal. My aunt had that..." She frowned looking at the sky with moons shining brightly but had no stars. She bit her lower lip stopping for a second trying to think of something else to say. She gave the man a comforting pat on his free hand. "I get it. You tried to be brave and went to war when you knew what she had. That kind of ALS only has experimental treatments and it doesn't come cheap. Higgins told me once you were going for top brass but so far, you've turned down every promotion that went your way." She pieced the man's life like a puzzle in her mind. "Because you probably realized that you didn't need the promotion to pay for your sister's expenses. SICON takes really good care of the family you leave behind once you've become a trooper. Top notch health care just like that. That's... that's something."

"No. You don't 'get' anything!" He finally erupted sitting back up making the girl jump in her seat. He's kept everything hushed for a reason. He simply didn't want to remember that his sister is dead or how and why she died. He wanted to go on fighting pretending that she was still alive. Even Doc didn't know that Vicky was sick. And here was this girl, the newest trooper in the squad, easily summarizing the hardest parts of his life in a few short sentences. "Vicky is gone. Do you know how that feels? In fact, Andy," he sneered, "do you even have sisters or brothers? You seem to do your own thing all the time so I'm thinking you're an only child. You can't possibly imagine losing something you've never had in the first place." He spat out seeing a sad flicker in her dark brown eyes. But his guilt didn't overcome his anger. "Don't tell me you know what it feels like. You don't." He finished tears finally flowing freely down his cheeks. He cursed himself for losing control like that. He tried drying his eyes with his sleeve but the tears kept flowing.

The girl shook her head and slowly brought herself to stand. She knew where she was not welcomed. "Good. You're done with denial, bargaining, anger and despair. And, that right there is acceptance. Now, you can start mourning properly. Mission accomplished for me." She shot back in a harsh tone that he had never heard from her before. He couldn't believe that she was upset. She was the one who wouldn't leave him alone. "But here's something for you-- You don't even have to be a trooper anymore if you don't want to. You've served way past your term. Either ask for your honorable discharge and go back to Earth doing God knows what or find a reason to keep fighting as a trooper. All I know is that you can't keep going through the motions in the field because if you do, you're going to end up killing the squad." She brutally advised the older man plainly.

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind." He snapped back dryly. Gossard glared at her as she threw her good hand up in the air in defeat. But it was her next words that made his blood run cold. "You know sarge, eavesdropping is not cool." She said out loud before she turned around saluting with her right hand. The mechanic saw Sgt. Zim walk forward from the shadows towards them returning her salute. She pointed to her watch that was temporarily strapped to her right hand effectively telling Gossard that she had seen the sergeant's reflection on the glass. "The force told me."  
--

"I'm telling you she knows something." Max Brutto pointed a finger at his lieutenant.

Rico raised his eyebrow at the younger trooper. "She's smart, Brutto. She's not psychic." He replied. Dinner had gone by and he had decided to hold a small meeting in the squad room without their sharpshooter. The girl had been absent since she had decided to have a talk with Gossard. The fact that nobody had seen her since made Rico himself start to worry. Who knew what was going on in the mechanic's mind? The way he had been acting lately had them all doubting of not just his ability as a trooper but his mental health. Andy could be in danger without them knowing it and she wouldn't be able to fend for herself properly with an injured shoulder. The young lieutenant faced his friend to his left with a small grin. "You are though, Carl. What do you say?" He suggested.

Carl Jenkins tapped his chin for a second like he was thinking. "Let's see now... for the last time. NO." He frowned giving the officer a disapproving look. "Besides, Doc and Higgins agree with Brutto. We can just ask Andy." He suggested.

The was a wry grin from Dizzy Flores. "If she's kept it this long, good luck on getting a straight answer." She sat back on her chair crossing her arms. "I mean, besides from that time we were trying to keep her conscious when she got hit in Pluto, when have you ever gotten a straight answer about her life? Sure, we know she was a bartender, she loves music she plays in the house band of the bar she works in, she lives on top of the bar and she's really smart. But other than that, nothing." She shrugged.

"Nothing wrong with being a private person." Higgins defended the girl living below his bunk.

"Says a private person." Dizzy smirked in reply.

The door suddenly slid open revealing the subject of their conversation still trying to dust the sand off her clothes. She absently made her way to her bunk without looking up irked that she couldn't brush her left side properly. "Speaking of the devil." Doc whispered to the huddled group motioning to the oblivious new comer stuffing things on a back pack. "Who wants to ask her?" He asked.

Without hesitation, Max Brutto grinned remembering that he was still a point below her at verbal combat. "Hey Anderson-" He called out, "-didn't know you were a romantic. Long walk on the beach at sunset in a hot date with Gossard." He taunted.

"Oh yeah, I was so sweet, I made him cry." She replied flatly swinging the pack over her right shoulder. "Men are so easy." She gave the huddled troopers a caddish smile.

"Hey-" Brutto was about to yell out when Dizzy elbowed him instead.

"So what's wrong with him?" The red head asked waving off the boy's incoherent yelling.

The trooper shrugged. "He's trying to deal with losing a girl. Do you want me to go into details on their relationship?" She said offhandedly walking towards the door. "They were very close if you know what I mean. Him being--." The girl gave them an interesting half smile.

Doc waved two hands in the air shaking his head. "No. Don't even go there." He answered in disgust. "All we want to know is if he's ok." He specified the question before the trooper could tell them about Gossard's apparent love life.

Andy shrugged again amused by how the other troopers were acting. "That depends..." She winced looking at the ceiling like something interesting just popped out.

"On what?!" Rico exclaimed.

"Well, L.t." She gave the officer a thoughtful glance. "He's with Sgt. Zim." She stated plainly.

The troopers immediately paled at the thought of being with the sergeant alone. They all liked the sergeant, there was no question about that. But it was bad enough dealing with the strict officer as a squad. Nobody could imagine a one on one with the difficult and demanding sergeant.

Especially one named Robert Higgins. "Zim is here?" He managed to blurt out with wide eyes. The girl nodded watching the troopers start to panic. "Oh. No." He paled even more.

"This place is a mess." Carl Jenkins observed picking up an empty soda can from the floor. "He's going to put us to endless sim training if he sees this." And with an exchange of glances with the other privates and the lone medic, the five quickly mobilized to arrange the room back to what it was suppose to look like.

Dizzy smacked the grinning commanding officer as he just lounged on the chair. "You're paperwork." She hissed.

"Yes! Do your paperwork." Andy agreed seeing the groaning lieutenant reluctantly give his chair up. "The power of Zim. Amazing." She mumbled to herself as the room slowly took shape.

"I graduated school and there's still homework." He complained marching out of the busy squad room to head for his office. He shuffled dejectedly through the halls thinking about Gossard's plight. The mechanic was acting odd because of a girl? He smiled to himself knowing that love could make do crazy things-- like jump off a cliff or confessing in the middle of a rescue. Noted of course, was the fact that it was a gallant rescue. That's when he suddenly stopped. "Gossard doesn't have a girlfriend." He told himself. In fact, none of them had time to have a relationship. That's why his own romance with Dizzy Flores had to be put on hold. Johnny Rico realized that the younger trooper had just played them all without any of them noticing. He replayed the conversation in his mind noticing that the only real concrete thing she said was that Gossard was with Zim and Zim was in the Tesca base. But he knew that the girl wasn't the type to lie.

He shook his head clearing his thoughts. He would have time to question Private Anderson later. The others were right. She did know something. But right now, there was a pile of papers on his desk that had his name on it and he'd be damned if he had Zim yelling at him for neglecting his duties. Death by papercut sounded so much better.

--

Note: All bow to the power of Zim.


	4. Chapter 4

A Reason to Go On part 4

Sgt. Zim was not amused. He's had barely been back training new recruits the basics of trooper life when reports started filing in about the relatively more unruly Roughnecks. At first, he thought he could just disregard the comments saying that the Roughnecks were an effective squad. They were efficient. They had one of the highest survival rates amongst veterans. Most of all, they get the job done. But when his new recruits started thinking they could mouth off whatever sarcastic nonsense that came to mind while being held at attention because that's what they saw in FedNet's footage, he knew the madness had to stop. Teaching new recruits discipline would have to come from observing disciplined superiors--from orderly, respectable, efficient squads that followed the chain of command. The Roughnecks had, more or less, two out of three qualities. Efficient? Yes. Respectable? Maybe. Orderly? Not by a long shot by what he's heard and seen by the trooper's own messages to him.

Some of his recruits even made Alpha squad their heroes. He had often heard them gush about how amazing Alpha squad was in the last FedNet show. They wanted to be a Roughneck. He had been proud overhearing this. After all, he had trained the majority of those troopers into what they were. He had fought beside them. It was a compliment to him to hear that they thought that the squad was the one to beat. That is-- until those same recruits refused to follow his orders because they thought he was wrong. They had argued that it was what Lt. Johnny Rico would have done if he were in this situation. That was the Rico they saw repeatedly on screen. The good sergeant remembered having trouble keeping a straight face when he sent that 'gang' for some old fashioned lashing. He realized that these recruits were clueless in idolizing the young Lt. Johnny Rico. FedNet's brilliant editing made him look larger than life. But it was Jean Razak was the one they should look up to not Juan "Johnny" Rico.

At least not yet.

He had barely landed on the Zegema Beach when he had bumped into several higher officials. Being friends with these people, they eventually fell in talking about the Roughnecks. It was then that they revealed how the normally level- headed all around trooper named Jeffrey Gossard had been acting strangely of late making mistakes even a focused greenie hardly did. The Corporal seemed distracted. They had mentioned that Rico had even suspended the man and that they had just passed the technician sulking in the beach alone. This information troubled the sergeant knowing that Lt. Rico treated the squad like siblings instead of a direct superior. Rico and punishment simply did not equate. He left their company deciding to look for the trooper in question first before making his presence known to the rest of the squad who should be awaiting his arrival even if he wasn't due to start duty for another two days.

Sgt. Zim had expected a trooper to be giving the man company in the beach. True enough, there was an injured one talking to mechanic. However, there were a few things he did not expect. He did not expect Private Ashley Anderson to be the one there. He had thought Doc or Flores would have been consoling the soldier about his suspension giving their respective histories. He had done a little research about the most recent Roughneck while he was away so he could understand where some of those weird habits, behaviors and attitude are coming from. But he didn't expect the two to be fighting because they largely got along in the past.

The argument lasted a very short time yet everything was revealed to him. When the girl had stormed off leaving the two men in the beach, it took the sergeant some time to think about what exactly to do. He knew what the textbook would suggest his course of action should be. But seeing the tears roll down the trooper's cheek in grief, he doubted that telling the trooper to move on because 'the fate of Earth depended on him' would work. The 'Troopers don't cry' speech definitely won't.

Sgt. Zim did not expect himself to be at a loss.

So he had kept watch over the upset trooper until the tears subsided. When he had felt that sufficient time had gone past since the soldier had quieted down, he decided it was time to move to a less public venue. "Corporal, walk with me." He ordered toning down his normally overbearing tone. To his relief, Gossard didn't argue and complied. He stood up rather dejectedly which is understandable. But quietly followed Sgt. Zim pass the quiet halls leading to the officer's quarters and offices. "Son," he started a conversation he really was unsure he should be having with the trooper, "does the lieutenant know about your... situation?" He asked as they traveled down the clean halls.

"No, sir." The soldier answered.

Sgt. Zim frowned. Whenever a soldier receives mail about a death in the family, a copy is always furnished to the commanding officer so he could decide what to do with the trooper. If it had been weeks since Victoria Gossard's death and Rico didn't know about it, this only meant one thing. Johnny Rico hasn't been doing his paperwork. In Zim's opinion, whatever the squad has been through is not the fault of the mourning trooper. The blame is now passed to the officer who neglected his duties and therefore allowed this to happen. "That boy better be ready for an earful." He mumbled to himself grudgingly.

The older man stopped and waited for the doors to slide open before ushering his squad's corporal inside. The room spoke of business with only a small window at the back of the room to provide any sense of warmth. There were no other furniture inside either besides from a few chairs, a desk and a row of file cabinets. Obviously, very little time was actually spent inside. But when the sergeant stepped behind the desk and sat down, suddenly, the room was transformed. Sgt. Zim looked like he belonged in his surroundings. The strict diciplinarian amazingly gave the cold room a little soul.

Sergeant Zim reached for one of the handheld screens kept inside his bottom drawer. He placed it vertically on its port on his desk and started typing. A few moments later, he took the handheld and laid it down flat on the one side of the table. He sighed watching the trooper eye his movements. "Gossard," the sergeant called out firmly to the man staring at the document, "I am sorry for your loss." He gave the trooper a sad smile. "I have seen and lost far too many friends in this war, both civilian and military." He looked down on the table remembering that the mechanic had known Jean Razak as well. "How accurate was Private Anderson's guesses?" He asked after a few seconds of silence.

"A bullseye sir." Gossard sighed in contempt. "She shoots to kill." He added.

"Most troopers do, Corporal." Sergeant Zim sighed. "Son, it sounds to me like you've been pushed into the army by something beyond your control. You have been a good soldier but the service might not be for you." He motioned to the document he had set aside. "You should think about what you really want to do with your life while you're in this ridiculous suspension. You have served your required term and there are a lot of recruits now to fill positions. The Sky Marshal had planned to discharge squads as a unit but there are exceptions. If you decide to leave, your discharge will be waiting here for you. All it needs is Rico's signature. The sergeant smirked and leaned back on his chair. "And we both know he's not about to say no." As Zim expected, the quiet trooper gave no response looking deep in thought instead. He gave the trooper an almost mischievous look. "And about Anderson, Anderson isn't her original name." He revealed disturbing the trooper's sadness for just a second.

"Sir?" Asked the now confused Gossard.

Sergeant Zim nodded. "Born one Ashley Chang. One older brother, One older sister and One younger brother. Went to a private Catholic school in the eastern sectors until halfway through high school when her mom disowned her. That's when she changed her name to Anderson, lived with her sister for a year, and went to that school with Brutto. Then, she disappeared and moved to a military school for her last year of high school. Now you know a little about her life. You're even." Sergeant Zim leaned forward placing both his hands on the desk. "You're dismissed, soldier." He stood up eying the still slacked jaw technician.He smiled inwardly knowing that his research was at least put into good use. At first, he started looking to her past just to understand the odd trooper. But it was unfair that she knew private things about the other trooper while keeping her own life secret. Who knew what else she knew about any of them that she's being quiet about? He let his grin show when Gossard disappeared behind the sliding doors. In his opinion, he was only being fair although life isn't. Gossard was just a by product of what he believed to be odd circumstances. In life, accountability was always shady. A person could never have complete control. Life wasn't an institution unlike the army. If anything else, the older man liked the military for one simple fact-- there was always someone accountable. Sgt. Zim rose from his desk and marched out the door. And right now, he had bigger fish to fry.  
--

"State the obvious why don't you." Lt. Johnny Rico tossed another folder to his outbox file with a sigh. No wonder Lieutenant Razak disappeared whenever they had any R&R. He wasn't avoiding contact with the troopers, he was simply swamped with...boring paperwork. He didn't mind half of them that were about the Roughnecks as a squad. Constructive criticism was always a good thing and he would try to get some of those suggestions in there. He didn't mind the parts that updated him on progress of the other infestations. But what he did mind were the Intel reports that had to do with the bugs themselves. Who cares about how much force a warrior bug's jaw's clamp down on its prey? Or how fast a Kamikaze can fly? Or how hard exactly is a Tanker's outer shell? Marking the report at the end with 'Caution: Extremely dangerous' was not helping the lieutenant's mood. He already knew that they were dangerous. What he wanted to know is how to kill them faster.

He absently reached for the next folder propping his head up with his free hand. He closed his eyes when he flipped the cover over. To get through this type of work, motivation is key. Playing a guessing game made this whole work process easier. If he guessed the general contents correctly, he gets a point. If he guessed them wrong, he deducts a point. When he reaches 100 points he will convince everyone that he is a psychic or ask Dizzy Flores out on a real date-- whichever comes easier. "Intel report on bugs for and even O, Johnny." He announced to himself opening his eyes.

Somewhere in the universe, a blaring sound of a buzzer is echoing through space.

The forced smile on his smile faded completely. Right there in his hand was a picture of a girl he had never seen before but held a striking similarity to one of his friends. He scanned through the handheld's information quickly just to reread it again. He searched for the date before placing the folder back on the table in shock. This was a brief write up on Victoria Gossard.

Johnny Rico leaned back on his chair running both hands through his hair. Gossard's behavior and that odd conversation with Andy-- Suddenly it all made sense! Andy had mentioned that Gossard was crying. She just conveniently left out a reason why the man was crying. Gossard was grieving. Girl problems and they were very close the younger trooper had said before Doc had cut her off. The mechanic's sister was the girl and the problem was that she was dead. And Anderson cheering for him to do his paperwork is because she knew this file would likely be waiting for him on his table. She did know something! Why couldn't she had just said so sooner? She could have saved herself from blowing herself up and saved the rest of the squad from Gossard blowing them up. Instead, she chose to play with words.

Johnny sighed deciding that he was going to have a talk with that trooper about semantics and transparency when he had the time. He placed both his hands at the back of his head tilting his chair slightly backwards. He had a new problem. What is he going to do with Gossard? Rico had just realized that he had basically been unaware of his friend's pain and he's been reprimanding the guy for mistakes in the field thinking it was simply due to fatigue or stress. He had just suspended a man for that reason. He thought the squad was lagging behind because of the mechanic.

Jeff Gossard, however, was the wrong person to blame. It simply wasn't Gossard's fault that he was distracted. It wasn't Andy's fault that she tried to keep it a secret egging hints at them instead. It definitely not the rest of the squad's fault for being oblivious to Gossard's situation. This was his fault. He should have known. He would have known if he didn't let things pile up on his table. He should have been comforting his friend instead of being clueless leader.

"Frustrating isn't it?" A man behind him said interrupting his already confusing thoughts.

Rico's blood turned cold as he craned his neck slowly to get a better view of the man standing in front of the door glowering at him. He must have been far too deep in thought not to notice that someone had just come in. At the clear sight of the sergeant, the lieutenant snapped to his feet ready at attention with his right hand at a salute out of pure habit. "Sergeant Zim! Sir." He greeted before realizing once again, that he actually outranked his old boot camp officer. He slowly lowered his right hand into a weak wave. "Hi. How was Earth?" He asked trying to recover some dignity.

Before Sergeant Zim could even answer, the base's P.A. system were turned on. "Attention. Lt. Rico and Alpha Squad. Please proceed to Command Room 1 ASAP." It announced before it started repeating a few more times. Rico watched his squad's sergeant head out of the door quickly. He sighed in relief. Never in a million years did he think that one day it was the bugs that were going to save him.

--

Note: Somewhere in the middle of this part I decided to give Andy a past to contrast Gossard's. More on that later. Also, this was the fic that I was suppose to try writing all dramatic and angst filled-- A pause from my normal dry writing. Thus the topic of killing off someone. But somewhere past 6000 words, I noticed that I can't maintain it. Therefore, my respect for all those angst/ drama writers just sky rocketed-- not that I didn't respect them before mind you. (For an active RSTC specific writer, Brisbanegirl comes to mind. I used to "know" and still "know" a few RK ones and a bunch of other fandoms-- too many to mention.) But really. How do they do it? How do they sustain heavy emotion past so many chapters and so many words? I don't know. I tried and I ended up with this-- and this definitely isn't one for the record.


	5. Chapter 5

A Reason to Go On pt 5_  
_

_  
__"Against all odds. Above all else." That wasn't just the Mobile Infantry's new slogan for their ad campaign. To those that could live to tell the tale, that was a trooper's way of life._

_Robert Higgins: Roughnecks_

Isabelle "Dizzy" Flores stared up at the duck marauder beside her with a grimace. Instead of seeing the comforting cheeky grin of its usual driver, one named Jeffrey Gossard, she was gazing up to an amused girl maneuvering the heavy piece of machinery forward. She felt a nudge on her left elbow forcing her acknowledge the presence of another trooper. She faced a grinning Carl Jenkins with a wry smile.

"If you keep looking at Andy, Johnny will think you swing the other way." The pre-cog teased quietly keeping their conversation private.

Dizzy punched her friend playfully. "She's not ugly." She replied in kind. The psychic raised his eyebrows at her knowing that there was something else in her mind. She personally hated that the two boys she spent most of her life with, Carl and Johnny, could see right through her half the time. And this was one of those times. "I just don't get it. I mean, both Zim and Rico asking her to come with and not Goss? That's just wrong." She exclaimed frowning once again.

"If you're worried about her shoulder, it's bandaged on cold packs underneath her suit." Jenkins reminded the trooper.

"No. It's not about her shoulder." She shrugged. "It's because Goss is... Goss." She finished marching ahead of the psychic in an attempt to get some time to think for herself.

Carl Jenkins simply followed behind her. "Maybe they know something we don't." He offered.

"I say it's a conspiracy." She shot back stealing another glance at the girl inside the marauder. It just felt wrong. The Roughnecks were all at assembled at the mission briefing including a red-eyed Gossard. A sector that had no bug activity in the past had become a hot zone overnight. The problem was SICON had a research outpost in the sector manned by civilians tasked to collect data on the Nemorosan flora. When they had lost all contact with the outpost and its surrounding areas until the next sectors, Zegema Beach knew they had a problem in their hands. Scans were made and confirmed their fears. The mobile infantry just lost a sector to the bugs. It didn't matter that it was now the middle of the night. The civilian botanists, if they were still alive, needed a rescue out. SICON had recommended both of Alpha's marauders to be used even if the mechanic was still under suspension. Without hesitation, Sgt. Zim had pointed out to Lt. Rico that controlling the marauder didn't use much shoulder action. He recommended that Gossard serve his suspension with Private Anderson taking his place on the driver's seat. And as if Rico knew exactly what Zim was alluding to, he agreed. They had rode halfway through the sector until they were forced to go on foot. All the while, Dizzy Flores couldn't shake the feeling that they had just left a big chunk of the squad behind.

Rico's amazed whistle broke through her thoughts and brought her back into reality. "And they called this the Eden Project. Don't know about them, but this isn't my idea of paradise." He said looking down at the view below.

"Take a good look, Apes." Sgt. Zim called out standing at the edge of a cliff with the lieutenant.

Dizzy took to Rico's side viewing what they were up against. Her jaw dropped when she saw the normally gray and green research facility covered in layers of white webbing not far from the bottom of their cliff. The place looked like it glowed against the darkness of the night. Shadows scurried around below the leafy canopy of the jungle. She knew what was moving around down there. Those were bugs. The place was crawling. And it always seemed to surprise her whenever Intel was right.

Higgins took up his camera automatically. "Paradise lost." He commented panning his shot.

"I like what they've done with the place." Doc grinned inside the Ape Marauder.

Brutto smirked. "Yeah. The gift wrapping makes me feel real special." He added.

Dizzy Flores placed a hand on her hip confidently. "You think they do Christmas presents?"  
_--_

Carl could the muddled sounds of panicked people in his head. The only thing that was louder was the sound of gunfire. He tried not to concentrate on it. To him, it was just another distraction that he had to block off especially since he was rappelling down the cliff while shooting the spiders that were trying to get at him. He watched as the two marauders that went ahead of the troopers land on the ground and proceeded to flame the surrounding trees just like they had planned. A few fired charges later, the arachnids decided for a temporary retreat.

The psychic landed on the jungle floor deftly disengaging the lizard line from its loop. He took a a quick look around the too quiet jungle before taking note of the troopers he was with. "Proves to them, we're no little Ms. Muffet." He heard Dizzy Flores say in her usual swagger. He smiled when Sgt. Zim cleared his throat alerting Lt. Rico to order the squad forward.

"Now we just have to find a big enough water spout." Rico grinned waving his hand signaling that they would be moving. The Roughnecks spread out into a line under the forest canopy with a marauder at either end. It still amazed Jenkins how synchronized the squad could be. Sometimes, he thought that Rico wouldn't even have to say a word. He could just give them a look and they would all know what to do. Sometimes, it was like they were all psychics. Or they've just been together for far too long.

But that was the thing that bothered him and he suspects that it was the same thing bothering Dizzy Flores although she hasn't placed a finger on it yet. They have been together for far too long that things should be relatively transparent by now especially when it came to the more talkative troopers like Gossard, Brutto, Rico and Dizzy. They were as close to family as it got in the military and probably even outside in the real world. Yet, there was a secret about Gossard that was being kept from them. Johnny Rico might be someone who did things without putting any real thought relying on his instincts instead. However, Sgt. Zim wasn't. The fact that Zim and Rico agreed on leaving Gossard behind and choosing an injured girl to take his place without any prior talk about it just proved that there was something serious surrounding the missing trooper that they both knew about. He wants to believe that Rico was just waiting for the right time to tell the rest of the team, if not himself and Dizzy. After all, Rico wasn't just their lieutenant. Rico they've known forever. Until then, Jenkins wished that his curiosity wouldn't get the best of him and force him to scan their brains for the hidden explanation. God knows he's been inside Dizzy Flores' brain once a long time ago and he expected Rico's to be just as or even more twisted than hers had been.

And that is just plain scary.

The looming white structure of the outpost started to materialize out of the foliage in front of then. Suddenly, Carl Jenkins found himself on his knees grasping his head in pain. The agitated voices that was he was trying to filter out in his head broke through the barrier he formed in full speed. But that wasn't all. Now it was coupled with angry, sinister and incoherent thoughts. Faintly, he heard Rico and Dizzy calling out for him. He pushed the voices aside as best he could. The troopers had to be warned. They were coming. "Bugs!" He finally managed to cry out in the midst of getting his head together.

Within a second, he heard gun fire and explosions fill the air. Jenkins felt himself being lifted off the ground and half dragged to the general direction of the outpost. The troopers were calling out and yelling. He saw Rico face to say something to Zim, who then shouted out orders that he couldn't exactly understand. He saw them as if they were just a blur of movement. But as they neared the outpost, the panicked thoughts rang in his head again making him gasp at the onslaught. He watched in confusion as he was thrown through the white veil covering the walls of the facility.

"No!" He screamed out when he got past the sliding metal door. "Get me out of here!" He continued trying to pry himself away from a man he recognized as Max Brutto. Once he was loose, he tried to run back out into the jungle but a pair of arms grabbed him from his back pack pulling him right back in the facility. Panic now completely ran through his system until he felt a smack hit him squarely on the cheek. He felt himself fall onto the metal floor before the world disappeared into black.  
--

Doc quickly jumped out of his marauder when the thick metal doors of the outpost slammed shut crushing a sad spider that had gotten caught in between. The mess on the floor can wait. Carl Jenkins just received a pretty darn good left hook from Max Brutto and is now lying unconscious on the floor. He rushed past the circle of trooper that had formed around the fallen psychic and his two very worried friends who were down on one knee trying to wake the psychic up. He stared at Brutto for a second shaking his head before hooking up Jenkin's power suit to the small monitor on his.

"What?!" Brutto demanded.

"You didn't need to punch him that hard." Dizzy Flores insisted standing up and facing the trooper angrily.

Higgins pressed his lips together into a thin line watching a bunch of scared botanists coming out of the shadows. "Um.. guys?" He tried to get the trooper's attention in vain.

Max threw both of his hands in the air. "The freak was freaking out! He needed a reset." He defended himself from the glaring lieutenant and the feisty girl. "What did you expect me to do?"

"Guys?" Higgins tried again. But the reporter was ignored again. So he did what any quiet person would do, he went around the feuding troopers slowly filming with his camera until he was beside Sgt. Zim.

Rico's jaw dropped at Brutto's answer. "You could have just asked or something. You didn't have to hit him." He suggested.

"Oh yes. Because that always works with deranged maniacs." The younger trooper replied sarcastically. "Jenkins, will you stop acting crazy? Sure, Brutto. It'll be my pleasure." He re-enacted the ideal that the couple were demanding from him sweetly. "Oh yeah. That'll do it." He rolled his eyes as he shot back.

Doc smirked as he grabbed a pack of smelling salts in relief. "Maybe if you asked it with sugar on top." He suddenly said trying to break the tension but gave sergeant Zim a quick shrug just in case. When the psychic started to come to, he felt like they had just avoided another world war.

The sergeant got the not so subtle hints of the medic and reporter and sighed. "Roughnecks!" Zim suddenly called them all to attention. The room automatically grew quiet as Sergeant Zim stepped forward. "Lt. Rico, orders?" He asked tilting his head slightly to the waiting scientists that Higgins had seen. The older man suppressed his urge to roll his eyes or sigh when the lieutenant just stared blankly at him for one second.

"Right. Orders." Rico repeated with a nod eying the already spooked scientists. "Assess the situation..."He looked around the dim facility and frowned. Electronics were all over the place. Wires dangled from the ceiling sparking like it can will something it to connect to it. Light fixtures flickered unhinge on the ceilings and walls. From the eerie glow of the small blue emergency lights on the sides of the room, he was certain they were running on temporary power. No doubt that the arachnids had found a way in and created havoc before wrapping them up in biological wrapper. It was dim. It was messy. And it looked disturbing enough to make Rico ask one question he reserved for desperate times.

What would Razak do?

"Something smart. Pretend to be smart, Rico." The lieutenant told himself before watching the psychic rise up holding his jaw with one hand and catching an instant cold pack deftly in the air that Andy tossed. He pat his friend in the back tentatively to buy time. "You alright there, buddy?" He asked. There was a slow nod from the pre-cog and he sighed. No use delaying the inevitable. "Um... Sarge take Brutto and secure this place. I don't want any bugs sneaking up from behind me. Doc and Andy make sure the civilians are ok and if you can find the plans to this place that's good too. Higgins contact base and tell them..." He trailed on trying to think of a good thing to say. "... tell them we found the scientists. Carl, stay here and don't freak out again." He received a wry smile from Jenkins. "Dizzy, you're with me. We're going on a bug hunt." He gave a decisive nod hoping it convinced the researchers that he was indeed in command of his squad.

"Oh. So that's what they call it these days?" Carl smirked before gasping in pain from moving his mouth. He cursed mentally forgetting that cosmic karma worked fast nowadays.

Rico shook his head trying very hard not to dignify that comment with a response. "Back in 30. You get me Roughnecks?" He called out.

They all answered promptly flourishing it with a salute. "Sir we get you sir!"  
--

Higgins gave up. He tried. He really tried to get in contact with Zegema Beach. However, nothing was going in or out of any communication devices they had-- not even the marauders. It's as if they stumbled on a piece of land devoid of anything they could use to get the message out that they were in here. The reporter then, did what he normally did. He brought up the camera, pressed record and headed to where Doc, Andy, Carl and the scientists were looking over the plans of the place.

Doc was the first to acknowledge his presence. "Nothing?" He asked.

The reporter shook his head in dismay. When all the troopers did was shrug, he knew that it was the answer they've been expecting. "Those consoles have been sliced and diced. They're pretty much dead. And I can't get any of ours to send or receive anything. So... what do you guys know?" He asked slowly moving the camera to shoot all the people involved.

"That's because the they took down the antennae, mate. It's just a stump on the roof now." A ginger haired scientists said adjusting his eyeglasses on the bridge of his nose. He shoved his hands inside his lab coat pockets. "The three of us are thankful to be alive after those bugs came rampaging in. But then we might as well be dead inside this venus fly trap of an outpost." He grunted dejectedly.

"Venus fly trap? What do you mean?" The reporter inquired curiously.

The scientist stared at Higgins like he grew another head. "What do I mean?!" He repeated in shock. "Think about it? The chemicals and fumes in this place will slowly suffocate us. Those bugs trapped us in here with their webbing. Their waiting for us to die before they eat us all." He explained quickly. "Aren't you suppose to be the cavalry? You're just as stuck here as we are. Once we step out, in any direction those spiders will get us. We're just delaying the inevitable." He snorted.

"Collin!" A lady with cascading raven curls smacked the man beside her. "Pessimism is not going to help us. They're going to get us out of here. Right?" She looked expectantly at Doc who just nodded quietly agreeing with the girl.

There was a chuckle from the other researcher sitting casually on a chair beside Andy shutting down his laptop. "Oh well. That's convinced me, Jackie." He commented dryly leaning back on the chair. "We can't go out because it's dangerous. We can't stay here because it's dangerous. Might as well relax and enjoy our last moments." He shrugged.

Higgins caught a shot of Andy rolling her eyes and continuing to look at blueprints and schematics. "Check this out Jenkins. Metal outer shell, insulated inner core." She drew lines on the blueprints with her finger. "Power source in the middle. Who designed this place?" She asked softly to no one in particular.

The lady named Jackie pounded her fist on the table in frustration. "Shut up, Trevor." She ran her fingers through her hair in panic. "They're working on a plan alright." She breathed in trying to calm herself down then stared right at Carl Jenkins. "You are working on a plan right?" She asked in a lower time.

"Of course we are." A voice jumped in the conversation from behind them. Higgins sighed in relief when he saw Johnny Rico stowing his morita followed by the rest of the Roughnecks that had went to make sure there were no hidden bugs inside the facility. "What do we know people?" He crossed his arms.

"We've sealed off everywhere that the bugs tore through." Brutto answered quickly.

"We're running on emergency power that would roughly last us a 6 hours at most." Jackie contributed.

"Um... Communications are dead. Even ours." The reporter added. "We can't call for back up or warn anyone about this place."

Rico gave them a confused look which the researchers didn't miss. "It's the webbing, mate! It's dense like mad." Collin explained angrily.

"Actually, we can technically pass electricity through the outer shell of the building and burn the webs and crawlies. But then, we won't have power anymore." Carl Jenkins pointed out on the schematics Andy was looking at.

Dizzy Flores shrugged. "Does it matter? Without the white stuff, we can hook up with base with our links and call for back up." She suggested.

"Fallacy." Andy sighed studying a different map on the table. "This place is part of the comm grid which is why Zegema's getting nothing from this area. To get anything out or in, we need that antennae repaired and power to get it working."

"It's like Oahu." Doc said grimly.

The younger girl cringed much to worry of everyone present. "Actually, it's a lot worse if Higgins' footage of that gig is anything to go by." She eyed the not to happy lieutenant warily. "See, Oahu runs in a series. We run in parallel which means that we're the only dark spot on the board. And that broken antennae up there is one of those new ones that weren't meant to be broken in half. Even if we do repair it, we won't know if it's strong enough to reach its original range to get it back on the grid." She scrolled down a handheld on the table.

"Which would make the repair pointless. So we're going to be testing luck. " Trevor groaned and sank lower in his seat. "Great. What else could go wrong?" He declared finding himself losing the hope that had gone through him when he saw Rico return.

Dizzy watched as the other girl started to smile a little showing more guilt on her face. Her jaw dropped when Andy bit down on her lower lip like she was going through an internal argument. "You're kidding me. There's more?" She asked astounded.

"Well..." She started tentatively looking at the shredded consoles on the wall. She took a deep breath readying herself for the possible backlash of sharing this information. "See, there's the SICON encryption and there's the separate encryption for the different command bases. There's a few military institutions that are ridiculously hard to... get in... because they've become oblivious Intel test subjects. Zegema Command is one of them. Now, the key is the consoles because they were made with different specifications.First of all, Zegema Command only receives and sends out what gets through the consoles first. Secondly, transmissions will reach Command only if Command knows and has plugged in the relative location of the sender. Everything else gets filtered out because base thinks its a hacker. For short, without passing this specific console or the consoles in our immediate surrounding area..." She trailed on.

"We can't get to Zegema." Zim finished with dismay.

"Any chance you know how to put humpty dumpty back together again?" Rico sighed.

"That's the other thing. I've never seen the hardware specs and neither has anybody else except the creator. And without studying the paperwork first..." Andy shook her head. Groans filled the air while the some troopers just gave the girl a confused stare. "I'm sorry, I'm not Gossard. I wasn't born with the fixing instinct." She apologized with a shrug. Then, the worst thing happened. Silence ensued.  
--

They were right. And because they were right, he automatically hated them.

So much for Roughnecks never leave a man behind. Gossard muffled his groan with his pillow at the idea. The empty squad room made him feel more miserable than he already was. He guessed that Rico finally knew about his situation when he agreed to leave him behind. Zim had told him that this was the time to think of what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. He could even leave the military if he wanted to.

But where would he go? With his sister gone, home was gone as well. She was his purpose in life. He missed her terribly but he went through everything the mobile infantry threw at him because she needed to be well taken care off. The only thing he wanted was for her to get better no matter how stupid that may sound seeing as she had an incurable disease. He had always hoped that when he finished his term and got his citizenship, he would see her there at their house waiting for him so they could go sailing just like they did when they were kids and their parents came home from work. But that was gone now. He had no family left.

He didn't know if he had friends on Earth either. When he volunteered for duty, he didn't have the time to keep in touch with people. It seemed so trivial. Here he was fighting for his life 90 of the time and sleep took over the other 10-- if he was lucky. Earth would be like the squad room.

Empty.

He buried his face on his pillow as fresh tears came down his cheeks. He basically didn't know what else to do. He was too scattered and unmotivated to stay in SICON. If he did stay at the state he's in, he would end up killing the rest of the squad. But Earth seemed so pointless. Nobody was there anymore. Nobody he cared about anyway. Which again is a problem. If there was no one on Earth he cared about anymore, how can he go on fighting?

Suddenly, beeps and a few buzzing sounds filled the air like it was a small part of a bigger melody. Gossard took his head out of the pillow trying to find where that sound came from. The sound disappeared as fast as it came. The mechanic shook his head. Great. This was another problem. He was imagining things. Wasn't that the first sign of insanity. It was official. He's absolutely lost his mind.

Just as he was about to wallow in self- pity and mourning once again, the same beeps and buzzes faintly came through again. Gossard threw off the covers of his bunk and stood in the middle of the room. He wasn't imagining things. There was something beeping. Oddly enough, he even recognized that where he's heard that before. It was a classic punk bass line. Every few seconds, he would check on people's bunks thinking that was where it came from. He stopped looking at Higgin's bunk when he saw that the bunk underneath had an almost invisible bump underneath the covers. He smiled wryly. This was Anderson's bunk.

He should have known.

He gently slipped his hand in underneath the covers and retrieved the formerly beeping object. Gossard was unsurprised when he found that it was her laptop. He bit his lower lip unsure if he should see why the machine was beeping. There were so many reasons why he shouldn't. Her laptop was private property. She probably had a lot of un- SICON approved material since she was a small- time hacker. He didn't want to get in trouble for knowing the same things she knew. Plus, she must have a lot of private things contained inside this little machine. She was always on it with her headphones on after all. But it was the last reason that weighed heavily on his mind. She was an ace shot. She could probably hit him from a mile away.

However, if he checked out the laptop knowing full well she'll kill him when she gets back, then he wouldn't have to make a decision about his life.

That was a good enough reason for Gossard. Besides, it's probably just a battery issue. He'll do the girl a favor and shut the thing down. Then, he could go back sulking uninterrupted by little beeps and buzzes. At arms length, he slowly lifted the screen up secretly hoping nothing was going to explode from the keyboard or any of that sort he remembered from spy movies. He was slightly disappointed when nothing happened. Instead, there was just one window that took up the whole screen. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. It's got to be a battery problem.

He was about to put the cursor on the window's exit icon but caught sight of the first line that started blinking. "Fr: INTEL Virtual Command Lt. Col. Sanders". The mechanic stared at this line for a second before deciding that this might actually be serious. Virtual Command was almost a myth in a sense that they had no permanent office in HQ for a good reason-- they didn't need to be. According to rumours, those under the office could live wherever they want as long as their business gets done. In fact, it was probably better that way since Virtual Command protects the SICON's databases and libraries from the most intelligent hackers to the lowest class virus. Being in one place would therefore be suspicious. A cold chill went down Gossard's spine thinking that his squad mate finally got caught in whatever she was doing.

The mechanic realized that this was the wrong way to go about it. INTEL Virtual Command was her problem, not his. He placed the screen down and placed the laptop back where he found it. But that would be her own fault and would be totally unrelated to him. 

However, try as he might, he couldn't completely shake off the feeling that the girl had pushed her luck too hard that Intel was on her tail. Dishonorable discharge might be just around the corner. It might actually happen this time. Andy might have only a few more days, if not hours left as a Roughneck. The newcomer would be the first one amongst them to go back to Earth shamed.

Gossard sighed deciding that he couldn't stay in the squad room anymore. The empty room was stifling him. Fresh air was what he needed. But just as he took one step out of the squad room, two troopers ran and almost collided with him. He took a small tentative step back letting them pass.

"Sorry about that! We're in a hurry. Command wants us all back in the control room." One apologized as he passed.

"Understatement. They just lost Alpha Squad." The other said before running after his companion. "How they could lose a veteran squad is beyond me." He added with a chuckle.

"They WHAT?!"The lone Roughneck quickly turned to the two troopers heading away. His eyes widened in shock. Hadn't the briefing warn them that the place was crawling? It was dangerous. He should've gone with them. He had more hours on the marauder than any other trooper besides from Doc. That would've at least evened out the score. Fear ran through his system pushing his other thoughts aside as he made his way to the command room in a daze.

--  



	6. Chapter 6

RSTC: A Reason to Go On pt 6

Jeff Gossard did not like what he was seeing. The Zegema Command's control room was abuzz with people trying to find the lost Alpha Squad. According to Commander Marlowe who has been observing the base's operations while the Valley Forge is in Tesca, the Roughnecks fell off the grid a little after they entered the bug filled sector. Comm links just stopped working without any good reason or any known malfunction. All scans were just picking up massive bug activity-- more than what they had started out with earlier that night. They tried going for the troopers' locater beacons but even that came back with nothing.

It was like the troopers never existed.

The lone Roughneck looked around the room trying to hide his panic. He saw the grimace on Commander Marlowe's quiet countenance and the deep frown on Valley Forge's elusive Intel Liason only known to them as 'Blue Leader' and knew exactly how they felt because he felt a hundred times worse. As Zegema's own commander started to visibly crack, he, more than ever, wished that the two Valley Forge officers could take over instead of watching by the sidelines. They were hard to deal with at times but at least they were always able to monitor the progress or demise of the people they sent out. Zegema however was absolutely clueless at this point.

"Do another sweep of the place for anything remotely looking like Alpha." the base's commander ordered slamming the newest report he had down on the table. As a quick round of "sir yes sir"'s filled the air of the room, the pale commander was making something painfully obvious. There was very little he can do now.

One by one the ordered test came back negative for any trooper activity. No other colour but red lit up the screens in the control room. Gossard clenched his jaw trying to control himself as he watched the base commander collapse into his waiting chair in defeat. His eyes narrowed with anger. How dare the officer give up in finding the troopers without so much as a fly over the sector or better yet, a physical search? He felt his body move towards the officer without his mind processing his actions but a hand firmly pulled him back by the collar of his shirt. He spun around livid beyond belief until he saw a similar expression on Commander Marlowe's face.

"Unless you have a good suggestion, Corporal, I would not recommend going there." The Valley Forge commander growled lowly.

"But sir, we have to do something. You should take over. The Roughnecks are-" He started to protest.

"This isn't the Valley Forge.We have no jurisdiction. This is his call. " Blue Leader stated bluntly cutting off his argument.

Marlowe nodded grimly agreeing with the Intel Liason. "Now is the time to have faith your lieutenant." He advised.  
--

"Ready when you are." Brutto heard Doc's voice over their comm link.

A second after, the big guns of the duck marauder ahead of them was readied. "I'm good at this end." Andy said evenly aiming the weapons for the door.

Brutto was not happy about the plan they came up with. They were basically going to charge out of the outpost and try to make their way to the next sector to contact Zegema while protecting the three civilians that would be traveling with them through the bug infested jungle. The fun would all start when the medic manually sets electricity through the outpost's metal frames to singe the webbing around them before the girl blasts the door off the building providing a quick exit.

"Can we maybe think about this for a second longer?" He heard Higgins ask nervously beside him.

"Look, Paperboy." Max Brutto jabbed a finger on the reporter's chest. "You want to get holed up in this shack, stay behind. But don't blame us when those bugs come to feed on you." He answered in his normal brash fashion.

The Fednet reporter stayed quiet, as usual. But the truth was, Brutto agrees with him although he would never admit it. The plan was simple. The plan was straightforward. But the plan was also nothing short of informed suicide. It would be hard enough to get out bug- land alive. Now, the Roughnecks were burdened with three researchers who were inexperienced in any sort of military combat. Point and shoot just doesn't cut it with any of their heavy rifles.

"Alright people, this is it." Rico announced a bit too loosely for his liking. "Doc, hit the lights." He announced. The lights finally gave up one by one placing the room into pitch black darkness. The heavy footsteps of Doc's marauder echoed through the outpost making Max's adrenaline surge even faster through his blood stream. The aftershock from the door being blown wide open didn't help either.

As planned, Anderson would be the first one out to establish a rough firewall that could keep other bugs outside of it at bay while they took out the ones within the area. The machine fire start even before the girl stepped out into the night. "Done." Came a grim voice over the constant machine fire causing Brutto to frown. If the other Roughnecks didn't hear the annoyed undertone that coloured her replies since she explained about the communications system, he did. Anderson was irked about something but hid it well that it wouldn't be obvious to the untrained eye. He didn't like it. He's seen her annoyed in the simulation room before in one of Zim's infamous training sessions. Instead of getting distracted like a normal person, the girl got trigger happy.

The squad left the outpost at once forming a circle around the terrified researchers. Automatically, Brutto took note of the battlefield before he even started shooting. "You've got to be kidding me." He muttered under his breath. Spiders and warriors weren't the only bugs they had to take note now. The Ripplers, hoppers and firefries cast shadows in the canopy above before diving to take out the troopers. Now and then, the marauders let a salvo loose to reinforce the breaking firewall.

"Doc, Brutto, Diz, Zim clip their wings. The rest of us will handle the land." Rico shouted above the mayhem of gunfire.

Brutto's eyes widened as a Firefry went past Dizzy Flores beelining for the easy kill. He immediately broke into a sprint tackling the pessimistic Trevor down just in time before the bug let loose his flames. He was quickly on his feet shooting the firefry down growling in frustration.

"We're going to die aren't we? We're going to die." Trevor panicked as Brutto pulled him off the ground and pushed him back into relative safety.

The trooper's gave the scientist a menacing glare. "If you don't stop, I'll kill you myself." He threatened taking a hopper down to the ground.

He stowed his morita in exchange for a triple grenade launcher. He grimaced as a swarm of bugs started to circle overhead once more while the others shouted out warnings to each other in an attempt to keep from being seriously injured. Beeps from the moritas were quickly silenced by the reloading of new cartridges. Things were starting to look desperate as the bugs dove from the sky and charged by land. Suddenly, streaks of blue rained down on an area just a few meters from them. "Enter plasma bugs stage right." Zim called out wryly. It was now official. They were outflanked.  
--

"Come on. Come on. Come on." Gossard scoured the screens for anything-- anything at all-- that would tell him that his fellow Roughnecks are still alive. One by one the red glare of a failed scans heightened his desperation into new levels. He fought off the panic raging in his systems telling him scenarios of how the world would look like if the squad was wiped out. He would be the only Roughneck left alive. He would be left utterly alone. He doubted he would be able to even function knowing that everybody he gave even the slightest care about would have a reunion in heaven without him. There would be psych evaluations galore. They would recommend a section eight. Then, he'd lose every memory he ever had. He wouldn't be able to honour any of them properly because he wouldn't even know who he was.

That was his definition of hell.

He fought the thoughts away telling himself that the squad was better than that. They've survived every mission they've been sent even when the odds of survival was heavily stacked against them. He believed that they would simply not go down without a fight. They would go down like troopers taking as much of the enemy's numbers with them.

Gossard's bowed head snapped up at the thought. "That's it." He realized whipping his gaze to concentrate on only one screen panel showing bug activity on the geographical map of the Tescan moon. One of the heaviest concentrations of bug activity was the sector that the Roughnecks were in. He went to stand in front of the screen with his arms crossed waiting for something to happen.

His body slacked slightly with relief when he saw a red dot suddenly disappear. That meant that that group of bugs were taught a lesson. He waited for another one in the same region to go before announcing his theory to the troopers in the room. After all, he could not afford to guess. These people will only trust in some body of evidence. When another dot disappeared in the same area, he knew he was right. "There. They're right there." He pointed on the screen with confidence.

"Corporal, this isn't the time for wishful thinking." The Zegema Commander replied.

Gossard turned to face the officer trying to control his anger towards this man once again. "Sir, swarms of bugs have disappeared in that area of the sector. I know it doesn't look like much but how else would you explain it? Small scale colony collapse?" He challenged before he could even think about it. "Sir, that's them. That's the Roughnecks right there. You should send retrieval." He suggested evenly.

"I can't do that." The commander answered flatly.

"Sir, you have to. They're not going to survive any longer. They're out flanked!" He exclaimed incredelously. "With all due respect--"

"It's a waste of resources, Corporal." The officer insisted. "There's no hard proof that your squad is causing that. I'm sorry." He finished with a slight shake of his head.

Before Gossard could argue any more, a voice broke through the room loud and clear. "But I can." He interrupted. The mechanic looked passed the base's head to meet eyes with Commander Marlowe stepping forward with 'Blue Leader' right behind him. "Alpha might be under your command during this excursion, but the off- duty troopers of the Valley Forge aren't." He eyed the Zegema Commander menacingly. "Corporal Gossard." He called out without looking at him. "Find Lt. Ibanez and tell her to get a team ready for retrieval." He ordered.

Gossard snapped into a salute giving the Valley Forge officer a look of gratitude. "Sir, yes sir!" He left the control room with a grin on his face as his thoughts cleared for the first time in weeks. He knew what he had to do.

--


	7. Chapter 7

RSTC: A Reason to Go On pt. 7

If there was a sound Charlie Zim hated most, it was the beeping his weapons made to tell him that they were empty. He threw his rifle at the nearest bug distracting it slightly as he moved to join Higgins and Brutto with the scientists. It was amazing they have lasted this long without any fatal injuries. There were a few cuts and bruises here and there making it harder for the troopers to maneuver themselves in place but the yelling, the shouting and the shooting continued as they forced their way forward to the next sector. Bugs fell and firewalls came up to replace the ones disintegrating. The squad, indeed, was a credit to its late founder.

"Watch it soldier!" He pushed Flores down just in time as a hopper came far too close to decapitating the trooper for his comfort.

The girl him a familiar smug grin. "Thanks Sarge. I like my head where it is." She nodded in gratitude watching that very hopper explode in the air.

"You and me both." Zim heard Rico mutter at the same time revealing Flores' savior. Zim caught the young lieutenant take note of his own rifle's ammunitions level shaking his head. The sergeant frowned when Carl Jenkins joined them inside the circle. He watched the two marauders spread out even more trying to cover as much as possible while Rico and Flores took care of their own area.

Their chances of surviving without outside help were slim when they started out. But now, it was almost a hopeless cause. The sergeant knew that they weren't fighting against time now and not the bugs. They were delaying the inevitable by taking down as much of the arachnid kin as they could before they took over. Two marauders and two troopers were not enough to hold their position any longer. The sobbing researcher behind him only reminded the rest of what's to come maybe even before they run out of ammunitions. He took a deep breath trying to relax and block out the sounds around him. If he was going to die, he wanted to go in relative peace.

"Someone's putting up a light show." He heard Doc exclaim in relief.

"Someone's got style." Andy commented lightly.

"Someone should shoot up a flare." Jenkins suggested as the gun fire continued.

"Someone should get that scientist to can it." Flores sighed.

"Oh! Allow me." Brutto replied.

"Brutto it was a joke... ah, too late." The girl remarked. Zim opened his eyes just in time to see one of the male researchers fall unconscious into Higgin's arms from a punch from Brutto. The sergeant rolled his eyes. He might not have agreed with it on the outside but inwardly, he thought i was about time. He didn't need a scientist trying to discourage his hopeful troopers. Rico had a flare gun already aimed for the sky. To his amazement, the hoppers looked confused before they retreated. He eyed the bugs as they flew across the sky in counterflow with the other flyers just to reach several vertical red lines glowing against the dark night.

"A bug trap." He mumbled realizing that those red lines were actually lasers.

It only took a few seconds before the roar of several fighter planes joined the machine fire of the troopers. Suddenly, the odds were even. Explosions rocked the land they stood on as small bombs rained down on the sector eliminating the crawling bugs at the same time several fighters cleaned the air.

The troopers went on shooting down what they could within the confines of the firewall they've placed up. But the bugs inside grew more restless as the screams of their kind echoed through the sector. The sergeant's eyes grew in horror as the marauder right infront of him was charged by several warriors at the same time toppling it over. The duck marauder fell backwards right in the middle of a grenade sequence. The machine was down on the ground but was still shooting a few grenades upwards. The older officer breathed in sharply as the grenades gracefully flew to the air undetonated.

"Cover! Find for cover. Now!" He heard Anderson scream over their links still inside the marauder bringing his attention back on the battlefield.

"Scatter!" Zim boomed grabbing two of the scientists to follow Dizzy Flores as she made her way to hide behind a boulder.

"Doc, get out of there!" Rico ordered the medic who immediately abandoned his marauder and searched for cover with his rifle ready.

The sergeant held his breath as the grenades fell from the sky landing on the marauder and exploded outward. He could hear the bugs' shrill screams as shrapnel embedded themselves on their exoskeleton. If not, the fire that momentarily blasted outwards burned everything in its wake. For a moment, everything was quiet on their piece of land.

Slowly, Zim peered out from the boulder to examine the blackened landscape. Zim did not like what he saw. Both marauders were in a fiery heap. Bugs near the duck marauder were burnt to the crisp while others around them are either dead or no longer posed a threat. The fauna around them burned furiously lighting up the space they just conquered by accident. The firewall though had started to disintegrate. Gaping holes grew wider with each second that passed by. The howls of the warrior bugs filled their smoky air as a new rumble of charging bugs started heading their way. The Roughnecks slowly came out of their hiding spots, regrouping behind the line Doc, Flores and Rico provided.

"Here they come." Doc alerted the other two raising his rifle up as he followed the bugs through his visor.

"Don't bet on it." They heard a familiar confident voice cut through their communications. Suddenly, fleet was back above them with a new salvo. The troopers and civilians cheered as they flew through once more eliminating the bugs that were threatening them.

"Eat fleet, bugs!" Brutto exchanged a high five with a more subdued Jenkins.

"That's no flyboy." Dizzy Flores laughed watching a few more planes fly by. "That's a Roughneck!" She proudly announced.

It was in that moment that Zim allowed himself to grin. "Welcome back, Gossard." He said through the comm links. They were going to survive after all. He didn't understand how they were found. Right now, he didn't need to. There were only two things he had in mind. The first is the fact that they were getting rescued by one of their own. He couldn't be any prouder with that development. Secondly-- this was one lucky squad. It was enough to make anyone religious.

Beside him, he caught a glimpse of the reporter tentatively putting down his camera. Higgins looked up at him worriedly. "Um... Sgt. Zim? Andy's not here." He stated with a slight tremble in his voice. The sergeant's eyes grew wide as he did a quick headcount of those around him before he realized that maybe the squad wasn't as lucky as he thought it was.

He had a trooper missing.  
--

Jeffrey Gossard turned the corner, caught a quick glance of a camera ready Higgins, and automatically did one-eighty giving up the trek to his intended destination-- the beach. He couldn't help it. He had already obliged the reporter for an interview. But now and then, Higgins would fire a question at him that he just didn't want to answer. If the past two and a half weeks were anything to go by, Paperboy was not the right nickname anymore. Paparazzi Boy is better.

He couldn't blame the guy though. When FedNet saw the footage and Zegema revealed to them that most of the ideas for the rescue were his, they ordered Higgins to get as much information as possible about the one they've dubbed as the "Hero of the Beach" Jeffrey Gossard aside from the normal Roughnecks stuff. He should actually be thankful that Higgins was a responsible reporter. Gossard caught Higgins deleting the confession footage without any prompting right after he told them about his sister. He didn't even knew the other took that shot. But Bobby Higgins, thankfully, knew how to keep things off the record.

But that wasn't enough reason for Gossard to subject himself to the reporter's company. At least, not yet. How could he answer questions like "How did it feel to save your own squad while you were suspended?" truthfully without having to explain and reveal private matters? "Not bad" is what he's been saying but what he really meant was "Pretty crappy.".

It was his marauder. He was the marauder specialist. He should've been the one out there not an already injured trooper. She was suppose to be the one taking it easy instead of having to take his place in the field and blown up-- again. Andy had a hundred different things wrong with her when they found her behind a pile of dead bugs. She had to contend with burns as well which wasn't as bad as they first thought. However, she was already bleeding out due to the shrapnel had gone through her suit in various places. And bones were broken as well. The medics think she was diving for cover when the explosion happened but they couldn't really tell for sure. She was dead on arrival and he was guilt- ridden. Only this time, it was worse. This time he didn't have the luxury of sulking in the beach without having someone pass by and commend him for a job well done.

Without noticing, his feet had lead him straight to to the Zegema's medical facilities. He found himself in a familiar predicament. He stared at the door for sometime not knowing what to do-- exactly like he did every day of the past weeks. He must be the only Roughneck not to have visited the unconscious girl. Three days ago, Doc had mentioned that the medics had taken her out of the tank and hooked her up to machines inside a room instead. Other people needed them and she was physically ok as far as they could tell. The bots in the green liquid had done their job quickening the healing process that would normally take months. But physically fine isn't exactly physically fine when the person was still in a coma. He sighed shaking his head guiltily as he decided to simply shuffle away.

"She's awake you know." A stern voice stopped him in his tracks. "She's been awake since this morning."

"Um... Sarge, you may want to take it easy on him. Death and near- death isn't exactly the easiest things to deal with." He heard the lieutenant suggest.

"Well, if you have done..." Zim started what sounded like a long speech.

There was a sigh before Gossard turned to face the two. "For the gazillionth time! It's not going to happen again! Promise! Cross my heart and hope to die." He watched Rico cross himself then hold both hands up at the taller man as if that would help. "Okay. I'm... um... gonna go back to that pile." He said tentatively back pedalling. "Say hi to Andy for me." He grinned before he fully turned around to leave.

Surprisingly, the strict officer just glowered wordlessly at the retreating squad leader for a few more seconds before turning his attention back to the mechanic. "Corporal, are you coming?" He asked with a steely gaze that made the question more like a command. Gossard found himself unable to leave in fear of incurring the wrath of Zim. He followed silently behind the sergeant through the sliding doors.

The smell of antiseptic hit him like always. They went through the dim room holding several glowing green tanks, a few of them occupied, and he quickly looked away not wanting to think about it. Medics rushed through him as they made their way through the passages. It was only until Gossard noticed the acute lack of noise in the area that he looked up to see where they were. It looked more like a hospital than a military facility. There were rooms around them only separated from the main area by frosted glass. There were dark wooden panels in between giving warmth to facility. And there was a nurse's station right in the middle.

Zim stood stopped right across the table from a nurse fixing files on the station catching his attention immediately. "Which room is Private Ashley Anderson's?" He asked with a nod.

The nurse gave him a wry grin pointing at a room in the corner. "That one. But proceed at your own risk. Some trooper brought her a laptop earlier and she doesn't look very happy about it." He smirked. "I think she saw what we did to her hair." He added with a shrug.

The two Roughnecks gave each other a bewildered look before proceeding towards the corner. They could hear the girl seemingly upset about something even a few steps away from the door. Gossard suddenly hoped that there was no one occupying the rooms adjacent to hers. "So you'd rather sacrifice troopers than put that thing global? It's a locater beacon. It's suppose to locate. It isn't a comm patch." They heard her say. There was a brief pause before she began talking again. "No. Tiff, you have to get them to shut the Commands down until you fix the thing. Tell them there's an update or something or else if this happens again and people..." There was silence. No doubt the other party had interrupted her. "Ma'am yes ma'am Lt. Col. Sanders of Virtual Command ma'am." They heard her mock. There was a small period of laughter. "No, I'm still not joining you lot... Yeah yeah yeah. Later."

Gossard watched Zim swing the door open with knocking revealing the cheerful trooper alone inside. He almost did not recognize her. It was Andy alright. But instead of the long black hair he remembered her sporting, she now had a messy short chop. It was longer than how Dizzy wore her hair but it was something, the trooper was not used to. The laptop was now closed as she placed it on the bed-side table. She turned to face them still happy about her conversation with the supposed Lt. Col Sanders. She ran a hand through her hair trying to fix the ones that fell on her eyes to one side at the sight of her visitors. "I know they had to cut my hair because half of it burned and it was just easier to clean me up. But the last time I had this short Sedgwick-esque hair was in highschool. And back then I was allowed hair products." She complained throwing both her arms up in defeat.

"Which highschool?" Gossard asked curiously before he checked himself. He felt two pairs of eyes stare at him immediately making him regret the smart comment even more.

"The Catholic one." She answered honestly still eying the sergeant who returned her glare as if in warning. "Oh, two can play this game." The he noticed a small sly smile on the girl's face as she focused her attention strictly on Zim. "So sarge," She leaned in slightly, "how's the Sky Marshal?" She asked in a suggestive manner not lost to the mechanic.

Gossard's eyes widened as he brought his shocked gaze to the sergeant. "You and the Sky Marshal!" He exclaimed in disbelief. It was a sight to behold. He's never seen Zim flustered before. This was a once in lifetime moment. The Roughneck suddenly wished Higgins was hear to record this.

Zim clenched his jaw regaining his composure. "She's doing well." He replied trying to be unaffected but it was too late. "Explain why you were talking to Virtual Command." He continued to challenge.

"Those consoles are a Lt. Col. Tiffany Sanders original. Now, the locater beacon pick up was apparently hooked on the communications consoles which explains why Zegema couldn't find us no matter how much they scanned. Tiff and I were pals in high school." She gave the mechanic a quick look. "The military one." She differentiated before looking back at the sergeant. "You can blame the Lieutenant Colonel and her foursome for my computer activities. SICON recruited them for INTEL straight after school and every now and then, they ask if I can help as an objective outsider." Andy explained without hesitation.

"Ha. Well, that explains it." The corporal muttered thinking about his sneak peek on her laptop.

Her gaze went lower on the Zim's frame. "Are we invited?" She asked enigmatically.

Gossard now felt officially lost. "Invited to what?" He asked slowly.

Sgt. Zim frowned. "You're not if you keep this up." He placed both hands behind him. "Now, if you even dare breath a word of this to anybody else, I will have you for dinner, soldier." He threatened heading for the door.

"Sir, yes, sir!" The girl agreed excitedly.

The sergeant took one last look back at the injured soldier and smirked. "Looks like your brain's still damaged. Those bots were useless. Any plans of an eventual release?" He inquired.

"A week? They want to keep me in here for observation and testing and psych analysis and stuff to make sure I'm still hardwired as Andy v1.0... I feel like a lab rat." She shrugged with dismay. 

Zim nodded curtly and tapped the door frame a few times before disappearing behind frosted glass. "We'll see about that." They heard him say before the door closed.

"What was that? Invited to what?" Gossard asked when Zim was gone. He gave the trooper a dry smile when she looked at him innocently and shrugged.

"Apparently, a secret." She pointed at the sergeant's shadow crossing the hall until it disappeared. "SO." She threw a concerned gaze at his direction. "You look better. No more mopey Gossard." She commented effectively changing the subject away from Zim.

Gossard nodded tentatively. "Thanks. I feel better. Squad's been looking after me." He admitted. "Look, Andy," He started off as the girl curiously taking a pillow from behind to hug. "If I just had been focused that time with the spider, you would never have-"

The girl smirked. "It'll happen eventually." She easily replied cutting the mechanic off. "I think I've turned trooper combustion into an art form. I should really make a list or have Higgins do a clip journal. Better yet, an ad for the tank!" She jested. "It can read-- 'Saved by the tank! Third degree burns? Lacerations? Bots leave no scars! Here's proof.' Cosmetic surgery beware."

"And I'm really sorry about that time in the beach. I mean, you just confronted me and it..." He continued ignoring the girl's remark.

The trooper waved the apology off. "Forget about it. You didn't know about them." She shrugged. "Besides, I wasn't exactly the nicest person either. So, I'm calling a tie." She announced with a decisive nod. "There's really nothing to apologize about." She finished seeing the corporal attempt another apology.

Silence ensued in the room as Gossard stood at the foot of her bed curiously looking at the girl trying to decide if he should ask. Andy simply waited patiently propping her chin on top of the pillow she was hugging. "Sgt. Zim said you and your mom had a falling out." He eventually said.

There was an amused smile on her face that Gossard couldn't understand. "Falling out?" She repeated. "That's putting it mildly. Goss, I was disowned." She clarified chuckling.

"Do you mind if I ask why?" He inquired slowly.

The girl shook her head lightly. "Growing up, my friends and I weren't... easily understood." She shrugged. "We got stellar grades and all. But when the rest of the girls were grooming to meet up with the boys from the school across the street, we really couldn't care less. We just weren't into social things like that." She grinned at the memory. "We were into the more artsy stuff like literature, painting, drawing, music..." She trailed on. "So obviously we eventually just separated off from that lot and did our own thing. It earned us a reputation of being weird and admittedly we didn't really mind. In the first year of high school, my friends and I started a band. I played-"

"Rhythm guitar?" He guessed interrupting the story.

"Keyboards, actually." She corrected him. "I've had piano lessons since I was five. I love the sound. The guitar came much later." She informed the mechanic. "So, we had this band right? And we were pretty good. During that first summer, we were touring all the local hot spots playing gigs in the city though we were much younger than the rest of the bands. It earned us a bad reputation of being "wild"" She made air quotations in the air to emphasize the point. "Though we really weren't. We made curfew each and every night and kept our grades up. But by the summer after my second year, mom would have none of it. We started disagreeing. She wanted me to be just like the other girls which I'm obviously not. By the end, she dropped the issue but it was just easier to avoid each other then."

Gossard snapped his fingers realizing where this story could possibly lead to. "You rebelled."

Andy imitated a buzzer sound."Not even close. Good try though. I wish I could've rebelled." She remarked. "Actually, I came home one day after a gig and my clothes and stuff were packed in the front porch. I mean, nobody was going to stop her. My dad died when I was in junior high. And my older siblings are outranked. I had no warning. No ultimatum. That was it. I was out." She waved a hand in the air. "I ended up changing my name. My sister helped me out for a year but mom found out. So, I left before she could get into any more trouble." She summarized.

"You don't get the official letter if anything happens...Is that why you read the news including the obituaries?" The man's jaw dropped in disbelief. She nodded adding to the mechanic's astonishment. "And you've never had contact with your family since you left your sister's?" Gossard stared at the smiling girl shaking her head trying to imagine himself on his own at that age. He shuddered at the thought. He suddenly felt lucky. His childhood seemed like a fairy tale compared to hers. At the hardest times of his life, he always had someone there for him to stop him from spiraling down into depression-- even now. He lost his sister but he had the squad's ready support in whatever he planned to do next. He had been raging on about being alone but the trooper currently attempting to fix her hair again, has been stripped of having family for the longest of time. He then realized that compared to her, he had never really been alone. She has. And she was fine.

A small smile played on his lips. There was hope for him yet. If she could go on living with that kind of circumstance, so could he with his. He was going to survive. "My turn to ask the questions!" The girl clapped once breaking his thoughts. "Hig and Brutto wouldn't answer me when I asked if you were quitting." She tilted her head to one side. "Actually, Brutto has a cookie poll going. If you tell me your answer, I'll totally split my winnings with you 50-50." She tempted the amused looking corporal.

Gossard grinned moving for the door. "After what you did to the marauder?" He mocked the girl. "I'm staying until SICON kicks the squad out. Keep the candy." He pushed the door open and waved the delighted Andy goodbye. 

He had made his decision even before the rescue operation went on its way. He just hasn't told anyone and noone had asked him straight out until now. He knew that they were just being tactful and the question seemed unappropriate in his situation, but it was really ok. He'll always miss his sister but they were right in telling him he had his own life to live. Fate had provided him the moment of clarity that he needed. It was so clear. He was needed here. After all, if he learned anything from the past two weeks, it was that Lt. Jean Razak's old words were true-- The Roughnecks were his family. 

And that was the only reason he needed.  
-----

Note: And that's it for this fic. Admittedly, I know this isn't one of the best I've written. On the side, I saw the trailer for the new starship trooper 3 straight to dvd movie over at youtube this week... thaaaat was just funny. "Do you want to know more?" 


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